Meet Addie

I have a new housemate. She's a year old 40 lb pit bull mix (probably some boxer and from the way she springs, some kangaroo too). I got her at the Washington Animal Rescue League one week ago.

I'd toyed with the idea of getting a dog for a while, but never thought I could hack it. I dog-sat for a few dogs over the last three years, including a 3 month stint with a pit bull who I loved. I learned that not only could I handle a dog, I was much happier with a little furry friend to pal around with. I also learned that pit bulls get a bad rap and they can be the most loving, loyal, affectionate dogs alive if you treat them well and discipline them right.

So, I went with a friend who used to work at WARL to look at dogs a month or so ago. Turns out little Addie (full name Advent) was there at the time with a different name of course. I was only looking though and didn't even notice her. I wasn't ready to commit then, but I pledged to myself I'd get a dog during the liturgical season of Advent.

Fast forward to Friday a week ago. I realized that was the last day before Christmas that I'd be able to get to the shelter. I went there in the late afternoon and told them I was looking for a playful, energetic, affectionate dog who would be good with kids. I played with a few, including a cool guy named Oz who had a face that was half white, half tan. I liked him even though he was a barker.

I was drawn to him more than any others so I went back to his pen. I interacted with him for a few more minutes and there was just something about him. I said to the helper - well, I think I just fell in love with Oz, to which she replied...uh, that's not Oz. I was one pen over playing with a different tan and white dog.

It was Addie! We went outside to play and it was immediate. In a rare moment of decisiveness I said - well, I guess this is my dog.

It confirmed my decision when everyone at the shelter said how much they loved her. One guy said that there wasn't even a choice - she was the best dog there. Maybe they just say that? But so far it's proving to be true. She is perfect for me. Likes to go on runs but is fairly easy to handle. She's a total cuddler, and doesn't like more than an inch or two between her and her person, though as she gets more comfortable she's striking out on her own. Now she's sitting 2 whole feet away - a record!

I couldn't be happier with a pet and if anyone's looking for a little friend of their own, check out WARL as a place to adopt.

Hot chocolate and doughnuts / frankenscence and myrrh

Our church does a living nativity every year. For 4 nights, we dress up and stand in a makeshift stable and wave at the cars going by on the busy road. I dressed up tonight as one of the magi and did my time in the cold with others from the church. A mom and son team were a great Mary and Joseph, pictured above.

As we were putting away our costumes and warming up, a dad and his two kids came in with a box of hot chocolate and 12 doughnuts. They'd seen us standing in the cold and wanted to do something nice.

We exchanged only brief conversation. They said they knew of our church because of the Yard Sale and we said that we were there for them if they ever needed anything. The dad said maybe what they needed was to get back to church. Then they left.

We were stunned and surprised that some strangers would do us such a favor. We also noted what great modeling it was for a dad to show his kids such spontaneous generosity.

I was reminded of the other Christmas strangers in the night - angels, shepherds, wise men - who brought their gifts and their friendship to Jesus.

If you are out there reading this - thank you! Your hot chocolate warmed our hearts.

Advent - catching my breath.

When I was a kid, someone in the family would always lobby to open a present on Christmas Eve. It was usually my dad. My mom was the stickler - no presents till Christmas, but we'd always get to open at least one.

My mom was probably trying to insulate us from Christmas creep. Even if Target starts Christmas in October, she would remind us all that Christmas starts on the 25th. Before then, you're in Advent.

I've had my tree for a week and I'm listening to Christmas music on Pandora right now. That's partly because there isn't that much good Advent music. I heard the National Symphony Orchestra's Messiah last night, and the beginning of that is some fine Advent music. My favorite Advent hymn right now is "Each Winter as The Year Grows Older" by William and Annabeth Gay. (can't find a good link).

I'm clearly not an Advent purist but I am avoiding too much Christmas creep right now because I'm not ready for Christmas.

Oh, gifts are more or less purchased and sent, my house is cozy and Christmas-y, and though I won't send cards at least I've made peace with that instead of wasting energy on guilt for days and then not sending them anyway.

My to-do-list is done. That's not the problem. The problem is that I've been loving Advent. It has felt like a time apart - like a good hiking trip or a week of vacation. I want this time to last.

The 3rd verse of "Each Winter..." sings:

"Yet I believe beyond believing that life can spring from death. That growth can flower from our grieving , that we can catch our breath and turn transfixed by faith."

I love that. I really needed to catch my breath. This Advent, maybe for the first time in my life, I found that I am doing it. Pausing. I've become good at waiting. The patience, the not-yet, and the calm that Advent calls for has become integrated into my soul and it feels great.

I have no desire to tear into the gifts. Potentiality seems blessed. Sitting peacefully feels just right. I want to stay waiting.

And at the same time, I anticipate new realities will make themselves known soon enough and so I trust that when the waiting time is over, Christmas will come with its own surprises.

If Mark Twain were on facebook what would his status be?

This morning as I was listening to NPR, I was struck by the similarities between two apparently unrelated stories.

In the first story, a class on Social Media at Stanford gave students pause as they discovered just how much of their lives they've hung out there via Facebook. From unfortunate wall posts to mom seeing the party the night before to grad schools looking up years of status updates, students connected their nearly limitless public exposure via Facebook to a level of vulnerability they didn't want.

The prediction is that the new wave in social media will make it easier to dramatically limit who has access to your info. You will give more detail to fewer people.

In the second story, the editors of Mark Twain's autobiography talked about why he required publishers to wait a full 100 years after his death before making his autobiography public. Apparently, he didn't want to damage his reputation, influence readers of his books, or make his family open to attack.

Just imagine what he would think of Facebook, (much less reality TV). I'm guessing he would use it, but very judiciously. He would keep a clear line between his writing for the public and his personal life. After all, the man loved his privacy so much he had a pen name.

Twain's 100 year wait is an extreme, but so is the approximately five seconds it takes to make the running autobiography that is a Facebook status. Bottom line, none of us actually wants all our laundry - dirty or clean - aired all the time to everyone.

There is a river

For our Thursday Bible study we follow a process called lectio divina, or divine reading (5-5:45 pm, you are welcome to come). We pick a passage to read multiple times. The first time you hear the passage, you just listen. The second time, you notice one word or phrase that speaks to you. You keep listening to the passage, going deeper each time, until the last time when you share how Christ is calling you.

Last week, we read the Psalm 46 together.

It begins, God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble. Therefore we will not fear...and it ends with the famous sentence: be still then and know that I am God. You can read the whole thing here.

The line that has stuck with me is verse 4:

There is a river whose streams make glad the city of God.

It's been a stressful couple of weeks. Someone just asked me how I normally cope with stress and I remembered the healing powers of water. I crave a river. Need to get next to some cool water. Watch it gurgle and pool and just be. I have missed my retreat center, Rolling Ridge, with its little waterfalls and rivers running toward the Shenandoah.

In the lectio divina, I felt called to get back outside more and particularly, to that retreat center. I didn't get there last Monday as I'd hoped. But soon I'll get there to restore.

I realize it is a great privilege to be able to take the bulk of a day and go on a retreat. Few people can afford the time or money it takes to get away for real. I feel blessed to have the option. Now I just need to make the time.

Question to think about: how do you recharge and refill your tank?

Article on judging

Hi world - I am passing on the most recent issue of Cafe, including a reflection written by my friend Rachel. The topic is judgment. In the lead article, Emily Williams Guffey talks about why we are so quick to judge others. I especially like her line "you don't know the whole story." In Rachel's reflection, she connects self-judgment and judgment of others and also draws the corollary: compassion toward self leads also to compassion for others. Amen!

With the high school group, we've been talking a lot about self-confidence related to bullying lately. We've agreed that bullies have surprisingly low self-confidence. They judge because they feel judged. To be truly kind and compassionate requires great self-confidence.

Last night we used an exercise called agree/disagree to talk about confidence. It goes like this: one wall of the room is agree, the other side is disagree. I ask a question and we line up on the continuum of the room depending on how much we agree or disagree. Then each person shares why they are standing in that particular spot.

One question last night was: when you remember how much God loves you, does your confidence increase? Many of the kids joined me on the strongly agree side, but quite a few of them were in the middle: not too sure. This is partly because some of them are at a point of really questioning their faith. I also think its because the overwhelming message they get is that they can craft an identity apart from relationships - especially apart from relationship to God.

I just saw the movie About a Boy and really loved it because, well, it's adorable, clever and uplifting. But also because it shows in a real world way just how important community is for creating an abiding sense of non-judging identity. My faith in God compels me to take that a step further: God is the source of community and relationship. Self-confidence is really God-confidence.

Enjoy the cafe articles.

It Gets Better

Two weeks ago I mentioned the 'It Gets Better' project in a sermon. Many people have asked either for the sermon or the link to the project, so here are both. The project keeps growing and some amazing testimonies of hope for gay teenagers have been posted. One of the most recent is Episcopal Bishop Gene Robinson. Thanks -

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Pastor Sarah Scherschligt, Prince of Peace Lutheran Church, Gaithersburg MD
Oct 3, 2010 /Proper22/19th Sunday after Pentecost
Habakkuk 1:1-4; 2:1-4, Psalm 37, 2 Timothy 1:1–14, Luke 17:5-10

In the past month, at least 4 teenagers have committed suicide nationwide, in part, it’s believed, because of bullying. All 4 teenagers were teased and harassed for being (or acting), “gay.” The response to this rash of suicides has been widespread and varied.

One response that has gone viral thanks to YouTube is the “It Gets Better” project. This project invites gay and lesbian adults to tell their stories to teens who are struggling with their sexuality, and with the teasing, loss of self-esteem, with the depression that often accompanies that struggle. The project’s message is simple: It gets better.

The gay men who started the project share the difficulties they went through with their families, their church and their peers at school as they grew up. And they paint the vision of their life now - fulfilled, happy, in community, and beloved by their families - in order to give hope to those who can’t imagine the future. Their point is basic: it gets better.

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I know that in this congregation we hold a variety of opinions about homosexuality, it is an issue many of us think isn’t appropriate for talking about in church. I get that, I really do. But all week I just kept thinking, what if that were one of our kids…wouldn’t we be heartbroken that they didn’t know – that we didn’t tell them, we love you, and it gets better.

Of course, gay teenagers aren’t the only one who are bullied. According to our high schoolers, fat students, Asian students, women students, nerdy students, students who lack self-confidence in any way, all are potential targets for bullying. High school can be a terribly difficult time of self-discovery, no matter what your particular difference is, and sadly, for many of our kids, differences aren’t tolerated. For too many struggling high schoolers, the future looks bleak. When the future looks bleak, we all need people to remind us that there is a different vision – a bright vision of a different kind of future.

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“It gets better.” It’s is a phrase that, at its heart, is about vision. That message inspires a person to look forward a few steps from the difficulty she is currently in to the blessedness that can be hers in the future.

If you are on the financial brink, it gets better. If you are a social outcast, it gets better. If your relationship is a struggle, it gets better. If you are hurting with the pain of a grief you don’t think you can bear, it gets better…

It’s a message not only for our children who suffer, but for everyone stuck in a tough rut. It gets better.

It’s the message we read in our Psalm: “Take delight in the lord who shall give you your heart’s desire.” It’s the message to the church that was in turmoil that we just read in 2 Timonthy: “But I am not ashamed, for I know the one in whom I have put my trust, and I am sure that he is able to guard until that day what I have entrusted to him.”

It’s the risen Christ’s message to a hurting world. Because Jesus lives we know, it gets better.

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At the Gaithersburg Days a few weeks ago, Gaithersburg HELP, our local food pantry, had a booth. One woman came to the booth and reported that she had been a client of Gaithersburg HELP in the past. The food she received from the pantry helped her get her kids through high school and she was grateful. She now longer needed the help because over time, it had gotten better.

Her message, her story is a blessing to all those who feel ashamed for being so poor they can’t buy food. Hers is an important one to lift up to those in poverty: it gets better.

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But as people who follow Jesus, we aren’t called simply to tell a suffering world that it gets better.

God wasn’t content to tell us the vision, God also came into our lives in the most intimate of ways, through the person of Jesus Christ, and made the vision reality. And because we are filled with the power of the Holy Spirit and because we have tasted that grace, we do the same.

We don’t see the plight of those who are hungry, tell them it gets better, and walk on by. No – because we believe that hope and a new day are on their way, we participate in its dawning.

Increase our faith! Begged the disciples.

Do what I’ve promised you will increase your faith! Says Jesus back to them.

As some wise person once said,

The way to become a hopeful person is to do hopeful things.

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If you want to show hungry people in our community that it gets better, then sign up for the walk for the homeless and do that hopeful thing; if you want to show a teenager for whom school might feel like a battleground that life gets better, sign up to help with a youth ministry event and get to know them; if you want to show a fellow mom that they aren’t alone, come to the new group forming next Sunday. If you want to turn your heart toward those who are suffering, take home our prayer list and pray to God.

And if you are someone for whom there is no vision left, for whom life has gotten too hard, please please know that you are not alone and that God’s promises of healing and salvation are for you. For we exist here to hold out the vision that God has given to us through Jesus Christ, that the moments that feel like the end are not the end, that Jesus takes on our suffering, that the end is a future of glory with God; and that you have a God who will work miracles in your life to show you that it does get better.

It gets better. Do you believe it? …… Do you trust it? ……And can you show it?

It gets better – thanks be to Jesus Christ – Amen!

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Luke 17:5-10

⁵The apostles said to the Lord, "Increase our faith!" ⁶The Lord replied, "If you had faith the size of a mustard seed, you could say to this mulberry tree, 'Be uprooted and planted in the sea,' and it would obey you.
⁷Who among you would say to your slave who has just come in from plowing or tending sheep in the field, 'Come here at once and take your place at the table'? ⁸Would you not rather say to him, 'Prepare supper for me, put on your apron and serve me while I eat and drink; later you may eat and drink'? ⁹Do you thank the slave for doing what was commanded? ¹⁰So you also, when you have done all that you were ordered to do, say, 'We are worthless slaves; we have done only what we ought to have done!'"