Wednesday, April 15, 2009

Ndatelela at Easter - I am still expecting

As I wrote before, I was a bit nervous about leaving Lent. Wasn't sure I was ready for rejoicing and celebration. But I was surprised. Easter was great, from the sweep of church services (photos to come) to an afternoon feast with friends and family.

Easter is becoming a time to assess the progress in my life. Two years ago, I was in rural Namibia at my friend Liberty's grandma's house. She named me "Ndatelela" which means "I am expecting." I was full of expectation back then - about to leave Namibia and in doing so, laying to rest a dream of living overseas and working in international development. I was embracing a different dream, but I had no idea what awaited me. My biggest expectations didn't come to pass in any way I would have predicted.

Last year, I put this picture on my front door as I hosted an Easter feast in my townhouse for relatives, old and new friends. It represented such a change from the year before.

Last year during Easter I posed big questions to God and focused on them specifically at the beginning of this Lent. Now it's a new Easter and they don't exactly feel resolved. But I'm not frustrated, and that's new. I'm starting to learn that I am someone who is full of expectation - big hopes and dreams. The problem is that my hopes and dreams rarely come to pass in any way (or in the timing) I can predict. I get disappointed.
But disappointment is never the final word. I always get to peace. God always brings me there. And that's happening in this season too. Though some big questions remain open from Lent, I am surprised at how renewed I feel. Blessed. Beloved. There is more good in this life than I can possibly appreciate. I am still expecting, but my heart is open and it's a wonderful way to be. Happy Easter. Ndatelela.

3 comments:

  1. pregnant with possibility....

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  2. Great post, and some excellent points made. I think we all periodically goes through a "season of expectation". (GROAN...sometimes those seasons can seem SO long, can't they?).

    Isn't it true that expectations usually come to pass when we're least expecting them? (Does that make sense? :)

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  3. Groan! They sure can seem to last forever. And yes, expectations come to pass when we're least expecting them. I'm positive the disciples didn't except Jesus to be risen from the tomb on that Easter morning. Definitely an Easter message.

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